The following is an email I wrote to Starburst concerning my distaste of their fucking yellow-flavored candy:"Why in the fuck would your company continue to produce yellow Starbursts? They fucking suck. I don't know a single person who actually eats those goddamn things.
When I come to a yellow Starburst, do you know what I do with it? I fucking throw that shit across the room because it tastes like Pledge. Stop with the yellow Starbursts. I'm seriously pissed off about this. If my requests go ungarnered, there will be some serious hell to pay.
I love red, orange and pink. Why can't we just end it there? Why do we feel like the fucking spectrum has to be included? You know what? The entire spectrum sucks balls! Red, orange and pink is all you need to know. Don't you guys to do any fucking market research? Or at least survey? Here's a survey: Yellow is shit!"
I haven't heard anything back from Starburst yet, but if I do I'm sure it will be a sincere apology and a quick discontinuation of their yellow flavor. Otherwise I'll kick them in the cunt.
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